You Hurt My Feelings Review: A Perfect Delight


Every once in a while, you will meet a good person. Yeah, yeah, there are no ‘good’ or ‘bad’ people, whatever, but there are certainly people you’d rather be with. you hurt my feelings it’s full of people you’ll want to be with, the kind that are ‘good’ people without making you feel like a ‘bad’ person by comparison. The characters have that rare combination of realism and closeness with genuine warmth, vivid self-awareness, and soft humor. You will wish this movie would last forever, if only to be in its orbit.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus leads an excellent cast that perfectly embodies the kind but insecure group of characters. you hurt my feelings focuses primarily on two couples who are experiencing some doubts in their professions, which begin to bleed into their personal lives.


Mark (Arian Moayed) is a struggling actor who has faced rejection and doesn’t think he’s good enough, and his wife Sarah (Michaela Watkins) is an interior decorator who can’t seem to please her client. Sarah’s sister Beth (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) is trying to write a book that her publisher isn’t interested in, and her husband Don (Tobias Menzies) is a therapist who begins to think she offers nothing of value to your patients.

The result is a quiet comedy of manners that picks at little existential issues and keeps picking at them like a scab until it hurts. What if you’re not good at what you do? What if people lie to you about how much they like your work? What if the thing you’re passionate about, something you create and enjoy, the people you love the most don’t actually like, but they don’t want to hurt you by telling you the truth? These seemingly insignificant questions spiral into a perfect tapestry of complex emotions, witty humor, meaningful realizations, and beautiful human moments in you hurt my feelingsOne of the best movies of the year.

you hurt my feelings

Beth wrote a somewhat successful memoir (though she can’t help but think they should have done better), and is now writing a work of fiction. After nearly dozens of drafts, her publisher still won’t go through with the book, even though her husband, Don, loves it and is supportive. He stares at the stack of papers, thinking, ‘Is this good? How can I know that?’ She teaches a class of budding writers, and probably lies to them half the time about how interesting her work is to encourage and support them, but she never considered that her own husband would be doing the same to her.

Beth and Sarah meet their husbands in a New York City store one day and decide to sneak up on them. Before getting too close to see but close enough to hear, Beth is surprised to hear her name; Don goes on to say how much he dislikes Beth’s new novel and how impossible he feels to tell her the truth. Beth recoils, disgusted the way one gets when a splinter of her perception shatters.

Now, Beth can’t trust anything Don says. Sarah tells Mark about this interaction and is sworn to secrecy, and soon everyone in her small group wonders how much to trust each other. Even white lies can break the intimacy of a relationship, especially when it comes to a person’s career, art, and passion.

Another intimate relationship is explored in you hurt my feelings — therapy. A married couple (a hilarious David Cross and Amber Tamblyn) seem worse than when they started therapy with him. He believes that he hears a patient insulting him. He leaves a long-term patient. Now Don’s career is also full of doubts.

Nicole Holofcener’s Little Masterpiece

Beth by Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Don by Tobias Menzies in the movie You Hurt My Feelings 2023

All of this happens organically and with a natural flow largely absent from most comedies. Comedy movies often feel like squalls, but you hurt my feelings it comes in bursts. He is never clumsy, silly, loud, or melodramatic. There is a smallness in it that is extremely vivid, but in that smallness lie buried universes.

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That’s the genius of Nicole Holofcener, the filmmaker behind this little masterpiece. She has this tendency to make whole movies about the little banalities of our everyday existence, and then extract massive ethical and psychological truths and meanings from them. It could be the power dynamic of having less or more money than someone close to you (friends with money), the emotional baggage we carry in relationships after divorce (Enough talk), noticing that a friend is growing faster than you (walk and talk), or the tendency to need the approval of others (charming and amazing).

They’re miniature themes compared to the bloated grandeur most movies aspire to, but it’s so satisfying and nourishing to watch him flesh them out and mine for meaning. In many ways, she is the Eric Rohmer of our time, and it’s great to have her back with you hurt my feelings. While his muse, the great Catherine Keener, is sorely missed, it looks like Louis-Dreyfus could easily become his next regular star. They did some candid, honest, and hilarious work together a decade ago on Enough talkbut they are in better shape here.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus leads an impressive cast

Julia Louis Dreyfus in You Hurt My Feelings

Louis-Dreyfus is, of course, one of the greatest comedic actresses alive, but she has an emotional depth that often goes unnoticed by people who are too busy laughing at what she’s capable of with a character. She is, in many ways, a Meryl Streep comedy. It’s mind-blowing to consider that the same person she played Selina Meyer in Veep also played Elaine Benes in Seinfeld and Beth in you hurt my feelings. While she’s been getting the Marvel Cinematic Universe treatment in recent years, she truly feels like she belongs in the Holofcener-verse, where he does some of the best cinematic work of his. She’s perfect as a generally happy woman having a momentary midlife crisis.

Tobias Menzies is charming as Don, and the relationship between the two characters feels like the most realistic version of real middle-aged love. Arian Moayed plays arguably the most insecure character in the film, but here he is lovable and a far cry from Succession’s character of him. The two leads do an excellent job building believable characters with warmth and wit.

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While Louis-Dreyfus is perhaps our most deservedly famous comedic actor, Michaela Watkins is arguably our most undeservedly underrated. There is maturity, intelligence, and charm in everything she does (especially in the woefully hidden but utterly brilliant Hulu series). Casual), and in a perfect world, she could fill stadiums with a one-woman show reading the phone book. She’s great here as Beth’s sister, Sarah, and probably the most organized person in the movie. Sarah has almost gotten over the hangups everyone else has and instead she is a comforting presence. Everyone else thinks they want honesty, but they just want better fiction. Sarah is comfortable enough with herself that she couldn’t care less about her.

These great actors are in wonderful harmony with a director who is somehow at the top of her game even after making great movies for decades. They have created genuinely good but authentic characters in a genuinely good and authentic film. Every once in a while, you’ll come across a movie like that. Finally, you hurt my feelings it’s smarter, sweeter, and just plain better than any sitcom this year, and that’s no lie.

From A24, you hurt my feelings is a FilmNation Entertainment and Likely Story production, and opens in theaters May 26.​​​

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