All the characters in What We Do In The Shadows are the most devious bastards in New York City. Part of the immense appeal of the hit FX show is that it keeps fans on edge, but not because most of the characters are vampires on the prowl. Nadja (Natasia Demetriou), Nandor (Kayvan Novak), and Laszlo (Matt Berry) are always looking for their next meal. However, with what tends to come out of their mouths, viewers are always waiting in anticipation of what they’ll say next.
The three vampires might only control a few blocks on Staten Island, but they hold dominion over a huge fan base who are just as hungry for more hilarious moments as they are for blood. Still, some characters aren’t as funny as the plague.
10 The Guide
The Guide (Kristen Schall) first appeared in What We Do in the Shadows Season 1, Episode 7, “The Trial.” The assistant to the Vampire Council makes an entrance, bursting through the door of the Staten Island Vampire Residence after her ravens go unanswered. She’s over-the-top while bringing suspected criminals to their trials.
Schaal is no stranger to comedy, having gained success voicing Louise Belcher in Bob’s Burgers and starring in many comedies. Her portrayal of The Guide is just as dramatic and outrageous as her co-stars’ portrayals in the spooky mockumentary. However, her theatrics aren’t always as hysterical.
9 Simon the Devious
Simon the Devious (Nick Kroll) came to New York with Nadja, Nandor, and Laszlo in 1861. He’s the king of the “Manahatta” vampires and is locked in a decades-long battle to acquire Laszlo’s witch skin hat. He’s also extremely hard to kill. In Season 4, he finally gets the witch skin hat but blows himself up again and seemingly dies (or did he?).
Simon always brings hilarious moments to What We Do in the Shadows. He surrounds himself with the strangest gang ever, the Leather Skins, who have funny names. Like Laszlo, Nadja, and Nandor, Simon pulls outrageous stunts to get what he wants.
8 Baron Afanas
The Baron Afanas (Doug Jones) is an ancient decrepit vampire from the old world who comes to check up on the Staten Island vampires. He’s upset they haven’t conquered New York and threatens them to do so. Thankfully, Guillermo (Harvey Guillén) accidentally kills him, or so it seems. He returns just as much as Simon the Devious.
Afanas is scary and intimidating as one of the oldest vampires, but don’t be fooled by his appearance. He’s hilarious when he wants to be. One of his funniest moments happens when he tries pizza. It makes him projectile vomit, and the sheer force of it propels him through the air.
7 Nadja Doll
In Season 2, Episode 2, “Ghosts,” Nadja conjures the human souls of herself, Nandor, and Laszlo, who have unfinished business. At first, Nadja’s ghost berates her for not using her many centuries wisely, but then they reminisce. Nadja’s ghost decides to stay and possesses a doll, where she stays for multiple episodes until she feels forgotten.
Nadja doll is just as hilarious and blunt as her vampire counterpart. She sits next to Nadja as she gives her confessional backstories and makes sure she tells them accurately. The little history lessons are always hysterical.
6 Sean Rinaldi
Sean Rinaldi (Anthony Atamanuik) is the vampire’s naive neighbor. At his Super Bowl party (the Superb Owl party), he jokes that they act like vampires. So, the vampires plan to kill him but instead hypnotize him. However, Sean gets the “brain scramblies.” Since he’s Laszlo’s best friend, homeboy, rotten soldier, sweet cheese, and good-time boy, they give him one more magical night, after which they allow him to live.
Sean is an oddball with his Ocean’s 12 memorabilia and gambling issues. He’s loyal and nonjudgmental of his vampire friends but trusts them a little too much, almost as much as he puts his trust in “Guy Pillow” pyramid schemes.
5 Colin Robinson
Looking at Colin Robinson (Mark Proksch), it’s understandable how he’s an “energy vampire.” He feeds by consuming the energy of those around him. How does he drain people? By being boring or deliberately annoying. Colin always seems to come out of nowhere to give his two cents or some boring fact that puts everyone to sleep.
Everything about Colin is boring and deadpan, which is why he’s one of What We Do in the Shadows‘ funniest characters. He knows how to make matters worse when some shenanigans are happening with the vampires. It’s also worth pointing out that he ranks higher on the power scale than his housemates because he can drain vampires too.
4 Guillermo de la Cruz
Guillermo is Nandor’s patient, loyal, yet tragic familiar. He yearns for Nandor’s love and acceptance and to join the undead world, but none of the vampires respect or appreciate him. Beneath his gentle nature is his ancestral skill of vampire slaying. However, being a descendant of Van Helsing doesn’t undermine his loyalty to the vampires.
Guillermo is always hilariously blunt about his situation as a familiar. He willingly carries out any outrageous requests from the vampires, whether they’re possible or not. Although, when they do something stupid, he immediately shows his reactions to the camera.
3 Nandor the Relentless
Without Guillermo, Nandor the Relentless would be either dead or completely helpless in navigating the 21st century. Like his housemates, he’s utterly naive to the outside world and is stuck in the past. He also doesn’t have much common sense.
Despite having been a relentless warrior as a human, Nandor has become less brutal than Nadja and Laszlo, but comes up with some hysterical one-liners. Nandor also knows how to start hilariously pointless conversations. His priorities aren’t always the best, but at least he protects his friends and familiar.
2 Nadja of Antipaxos
Nadja is the only semi-with-it Staten Island vampire. However, being centuries old, she’d have a better handle on the modern world. Nadja is sometimes just as naive as her husband and Nandor and as blunt. At least she knows how to put them in their place when they say or do something weird. She adds a much-needed feminine flare to the house and is great with planning orgies and being a business runner.
Like Nandor and Laszlo, Nadja always has a deadpan one-liner or hilarious backstory. They’re always funny to viewers because they’re outrageous or silly. The vampires don’t see it that way, though. They think everything they say is perfectly acceptable.
1 Laszlo Cravensworth
Laszlo is, without a doubt, the funniest character on What We Do in the Shadows. He’s the crudest and bluntest of the Staten Island Vampires, especially when he talks about sex, which is often. Nadja met and turned Laszlo, and they started a polygamous marriage. Without her, he wouldn’t know which way was up. Laszlo never fails to bring the drama and is always ready for a fight, but he grows as a vampire in Seasons 3 and 4.
There’s always a language barrier with the vampires, but Laszlo understands very little of the modern language. In his theatrical way, Laszlo overpronounces his words or mispronounces things he doesn’t understand. Every piece of dialogue out of his mouth is over-the-top, absurd, and shockingly funny.
